joy – perhaps the greater

unexpectedly expecting

after 5 years of marriage where we’ve clung to the party line of “God is bigger than birth control and the best laid plans of mice and men,” we’re taking the training wheels off!

A friend asked me a question today,Is God good or is God everything?And I realized I didn’t have an answer. Maybe that’s okay.Questions always seem like a good idea, learning, wisdom, exploration. But sometimes questions offer more grace than answers, and sometimes the non answer leads to more questions.I don’t understand the ins and outsContinue reading “question”

middle

the middle of the road,the middle of the bench seat,middle school,caught in the middle – uneasy, uncertain, undecided,overlooked, underestimated-I turn to my middle child status and find my place in the middle of the pack.fair to middling, mid life crisis.wakefulwatchful, in the middle of the night.stuck here in the middle with you.moving into mid 30s,Continue reading “middle”

remember

10 years ago today I walked across a stage and accepted my bachelor’s degree. I remember it very poorly; my ex-fiancé had broken up with me only a few weeks before, and most of the time in between had been filled with coffee, packing, nightmares, canceling wedding plans, panic attacks, goodbyes, ice cream, returning weddingContinue reading “remember”

story

story maker,chain destroyer,defender,creator;story crafter,curse breaker,nurturer,provider;story weaver,squall disrupter,composer,director;you bring us intoyour sphere,draw us into your formation;you sing us intoexistence,craft us into the quick and the breath and the being from your very word of life;the cadence of your story holds us in the palm ofthe poet of all.

refresh reality

earlier this month, I was trying to write, and I published a post focused on and played with the re-create-, the create and recreate, creation and recreation, how I mirror and reflect the creativity of the creator in how I create and recreate, how I honor the work of God through my play, and howContinue reading “refresh reality”

voice

I’m working on developing my voice. I think I’ve gone a long time as a peacekeeper rather than a peacemaker, and I’m learning to see and hear a difference there. a peacekeeper will not speak up or speak out, in order to keep the peace; a peacemaker will speak truth and clarity into a situation,Continue reading “voice”

happy and hard, hard and happy

to those who have a great relationship with their mom, I see you ♥️to those who have a strained or tense relationship with their mom, I see you ♥️to those who have a great relationship with their child(ren), I see you ♥️to those who have a strained or tense relationship with their child(ren), I seeContinue reading “happy and hard, hard and happy”

-re-create-

redo, recreate, replace, remake, revise, realign – bring it back to where it’s supposed to be.which is where, exactly? why do all the words make it sound like I need to strip it all away to come out the other side? all I have seems to be empty – fear, exhaustion, loneliness – broken, heavy,Continue reading “-re-create-“

The Making of Biblical Womanhood

I read The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr I think one of the things I’m called to is to examine and explore where I’ve been silent or still in the past. I am grateful for my Christian education (homeschool through 12th grade + 8 years of higher education), and I know IContinue reading “The Making of Biblical Womanhood”